True Joy

 It is a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often get it. 

-W. Somerset Maugham 

Eknath Easwaran's Commentary

We must be careful not to mistake agitation for fulfillment, excitement for joy. When our mind is not turbulent for a little while, we tend to think we’re in a slump and start groping about for something that can stir it up again: a thrilling movie, a stiff drink, a spirited quarrel, anything to “get the juices flowing.” Taken one by one these may seem like fairly innocuous forms of indulgence, yet in their long-range cumulative impact, they deplete us and deflect us from our real goals. 

When we fix our eyes on a higher goal, we begin to see beyond the immediate appeal of short-term satisfactions. Confident that a far greater joy is ours, we can hold out against the voices from all sides that cajole, “Eat this; drink that; watch this; buy that.” True joy is found when the mind is still, not when it is excited. 

Spiritual path - Fear and Security

On this path, effort never goes to waste, and there is no failure. Even a little effort toward spiritual awareness will protect you from the greatest fear. 

-Bhagavad Gita 

Eknath Easwaran's Commentary

To be truly secure, we must begin to find a source of security within ourselves. Even the bravest among us have many fears. Behind the attachment to money or possessions, for example, you will always find the fear of loss. Attachment to prestige brings the nagging fear of what others think of us. The thirst for power feeds the fear that others may be stronger. Every self-centered desire brings the fear that we may not get what we desire. 

One could make a Sears catalog of these fears, but all stem from one fatal superstition: thinking of ourselves as merely physical creatures, separate from the rest of life. As our sense of oneness with the rest of life deepens, we step out of the world of fear to live in the world of love. 

Stress and Tension

Mental tensions, frustrations, insecurity, aimlessness are among the most damaging stressors, and psychosomatic studies have shown how often they cause migraine headache, peptic ulcers, heart attacks, hypertension, mental disease, suicide, or just hopeless unhappiness. 

-Hans Selye

Eknath Easwaran's Commentary

A great deal of psychological stress comes from the rush and hurry of a turbulent mind, which jumps recklessly to unwarranted conclusions, rushes to judgments, and often is going too fast to see events and people as they truly are. Such a mind keeps the body under continual tension. It is constantly on the move – desiring, worrying, hoping, fearing, planning, defending, rehearsing, criticizing. It cannot stop or rest except in deep sleep, when the whole body, particularly the nervous system, heaves a sigh of relief and tries to repair the damage of the day. 

Simply by slowing down the mind – the first purpose of meditation – much of this tension can be removed. Then we are free to respond to life’s difficulties not as sources of stress but as challenges, which will draw out of us deeper resources than we ever suspected we had. A one-pointed mind is slow and sound, which gives it immense resilience under stress. With a mind like this, we always have a choice in how we respond to life around us. 

Positivity and Optimism

 Yes, positivity can be toxic too.

Let's not discount another's feelings,  or brush away how they're feeling in a moment in time.  Instead,  let's hold space,  be present, be empathetic, and be accessible. Ask what would one need to feel better? Do not forget to check on one's or your own boundaries while you do all or one of these. Let's bring empathy, compassion, and grace back.

Courtesy: Nidhi Singh Samyal

Self Love

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.

As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.

We no longer need to fear arguments, confrontations or any kind of problems with ourselves or others. Even stars collide, and out of their crashing new worlds are born. Today I know “THAT IS LIFE”!

- Charlie Chaplin

The words of the tongue should have three gatekeepers. -Arab proverb 

Eknath Easwaran's Commentary
Before words get past the lips, the first gatekeeper asks, “Is this true?” That stops a lot of traffic immediately. But if the words get past the first gatekeeper, there is a second who asks, “Is it kind?” And for those words that qualify here too, the last gatekeeper asks, “Is it necessary?”

With these three on guard, most of us would find very little to say. Here I think it is necessary to make exceptions in the interests of good company and let the third gatekeeper look the other way now and then. After all, a certain amount of pleasant conversation is part of the artistry of living. But the first two gatekeepers should always be on duty.

It is so easy to say something at the expense of another for the purpose of enhancing our own image. But such remarks – irresistible as they may be – serve only to fatten our egos and agitate others. We should be so fearful of hurting people that even if a clever remark is rushing off our tongue, we can barricade the gate. We should be able to swallow our cleverness rather than hurt someone. Better to say something banal but harmless than to be clever at someone else’s expense. 

Coaching

In the process of working and coaching with clients invariably there is a time when the client experiences being stuck , there are a few useful questions which then lead to a call for action that eventually gets the person unstuck and on the way to where they want to go.

1. What truth have you not spoken? - Speak it
2. What lies have you said? - Clean your Act
3. What do you still owe to others? - Return it
4. What do others still owe you? - Get it back
5. What agreements have you not kept? - Apologise
6. What amends do you need to do? Keep it
7. Where do you have Clutter in your life? Clear it
8. What boundaries have you to draw in your personal, official, professional and social life? - Draw it and go public with it.

This has been working well with many of my clients, because they need to take time to ponder over it and usually their unconscious lands them the whammy that they need to handle and then from thereon pure magic unfolds! Try it.

-Krish Srikanth

Health, a light body, freedom from cravings, a glowing skin, sonorous voice, fragrance of body: these signs indicate progress in the practice of meditation. 
-Shvetashvatara Upanishad 


Eknath Easwaran's Commentary
If you are practicing meditation regularly, be sure to get adequate physical exercise. This is very important. The deeper your interior life, the greater the need for vigorous physical activity. People sometimes fall into a kind of lethargy in the mistaken belief that this is what it means to work without tension. It is just the opposite. The body is our instrument of physical service, and it thrives on vigorous movement. If you are young or already in good condition, vigorous here means vigorous. Swimming, running, and fast-paced sports that require concentration are all excellent exercise. But unless you are in condition, do not jump into such activities immediately. Work up to them gradually. If you are over thirty-five or have any particular physical problems, ask your doctor to start you on an exercise program.

In meditation we gradually reduce our obsessive identification with the body. The body will begin to feel lighter, our step will be more buoyant, and our senses will come more easily under our control. By getting plenty of physical exercise, we help this process along.

Desire

I reached in experience the nirvana which is unborn, unrivalled, secure from attachment, undecaying and unstained. This condition is indeed reached by me which is deep, difficult to see, difficult to understand, tranquil, excellent, beyond the reach of mere logic, subtle, and to be realized only by the wise.
The Buddha, on attaining enlightenment 


Eknath Easwaran's Commentary
The Buddha is sometimes quoted as saying that desire is suffering. A more accurate translation is that selfish desire is suffering – in fact, the source of all suffering. But desire itself is simply power, neither good nor bad.

Without the tremendous power of desire, there can be no progress on the spiritual path; there can be no progress anywhere. The whole secret of spiritual transformation is turning selfish desire into selfless desire, transforming personal passions into the overwhelming desire to attain life’s highest goal. This is not repression; it is transformation. 

You are what you believe. 
-Anton Chekhov 

Eknath Easwaran's Commentary

You are what the deep faith of your heart is. If you believe that money is going to make you happy, then you will go after money. If you believe that pleasure will make you happy, you will go after pleasure. Because, “as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he,” not as he thinketh in his head. There is a vast distance from the head to the heart. In the Greek and Russian Orthodox traditions, they say that whatever spiritual knowledge you have in your head must be brought down into your heart. This takes many, many years.

Knowing that their past actions may try to overwhelm them, the devotees must be prepared to combat them. God will give them the strength: His Name will be an impenetrable armor. 
-Swami Brahmananda 


Eknath Easwaran's Commentary
In principle, the training of attention is simple: when the mind wanders, bring it back to what it should be doing. The problem arises when the distraction is not a stray thought, but a compulsive resentment, irritation, apprehension, or craving. Such thoughts dominate our attention. When a self-centered thought comes up, everything in our conditioning screams, “Hey, look at that! Pay attention to that!”

When tormented by painful thoughts, many of us have cried out, “If only I could stop thinking!” But we don’t know how. The mind has gotten stuck, and we feel helpless to stop it. All the mind can do is repeat the same thought over and over.

Here again, our greatest ally is the mantram. Whenever a destructive thought comes up, repeat the mantram. When the mantram takes hold, the connection between the thought and your attention is broken. A compulsive thought, whether it is anger or depression or a powerful sense-craving, does not really have any power of its own. All the power is in the attention we give – and when we can withdraw our attention, the thought or desire will be helpless to compel us into action. 

Desire

Life consists in what a man is thinking of all day. 
-Ralph Waldo Emerson 


Eknath Easwaran's Commentary
A compulsive desire is like any other thought over which we have no control. It flows continuously: “I want that; I want that; I want that.” There seems to be no space between the thoughts. But when your meditation begins to deepen, two things happen. First, the thought process slows down. Second, you develop a new attitude toward desires – you begin to realize that you needn’t give in to the desire. You have a choice.

Now, when a very strong desire starts to overtake you, and your mind is just one long string of “I want that,” you catch sight of a tiny opening between the demands. It may be only a split second in duration at first, but in time it grows long enough for another thought, another kind of thought, to make itself known. “Hmmm,” we think, “maybe part of me does want that – but do I? Is it really in my long-term best interest to gratify this desire?”

Health

The first wealth is health. 
Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Eknath Easwaran's Commentary
When you regard your life as a trust, you realize that the first resource you have to take care of is your own body. This can be startling. Even your body is not really your own. It belongs to life, and it is your responsibility to take care of it. You cannot afford to do anything that injures your body, because the body is the instrument you need for selfless action. That is the fine print of the trust agreement: when we smoke, when we overeat, when we don’t get enough exercise, we are violating the terms of the trust.

If you want to live life at its fullest, you will want to do everything possible to keep your body in vibrant health in order to give back to life a little of what it has given you. 

Whatever you do, make it an offering to me – the food you eat, the sacrifices you make, the help you give, even your suffering. 
Bhagavad Gita 

Eknath Easwaran's Commentary
We can’t give anyone joy or security by increasing her bank account or adding to his collection of vintage wines. Of course, a well-chosen gift given at the right time is always welcome, but whatever the gift, we should guard against the nagging expectation of getting something in return. The moment we expect reward or recognition, we are making a contract.

Even parents and children suffer from this contractual relationship. Parents can help their children tremendously by avoiding the “I did this for you, therefore you do that for me” approach, encouraging them instead to follow their own star.

In the spiritual lore of India, it is said that God whispered only one word in our ears when he sent us into the world: “Give.” Give freely of your time, your talent, your resources; give without asking for anything in return. This is the secret of living in joy and security. 

Death

Thou shalt understand that it is a science most profitable, and passing all other sciences, for to learn to die. 
Heinrich Suso 

Eknath Easwaran's Commentary
As long as there is something we want to get out of life before we go – a little more money, a little more pleasure, a chance to get in a parting dig at someone we think has hurt us – there will be a terrible struggle with death when it comes. As long as we think we are the body, we will fight to hold onto the body when death comes to wrench it away. The tragedy, of course, is that death is going to take it anyway. So the great teachers in all religions tell us, “Give up your selfish attachments now and be free.” Then, when death does come, we can give him what is his without a shadow of regret, and keep for ourselves what is ours, which is love of the Lord.

There is great artistry in this. Death comes and growls something about how our time has come, and we just say, “Don’t growl; I’m ready to come on my own.” Then we stand up gracefully, take off the jacket that is the body, hand it over carefully, and go home. 

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. 
Mark Twain 

Eknath Easwaran's Commentary
Often, when a low mood is coming on, sometimes it is because the mind has started to brood upon itself. The things that formerly seemed exciting now elicit no response. In a sense, we have closed down. A friend can talk to us and we will not hear; we can go to a movie and may not even follow the plot. We are utterly absorbed in a hall of mirrors inside, in which we and everyone around us are pushed, pulled, and twisted into fantastic shapes.

There are a number of effective ways of treating these dark moods where they start, within the mind. What helps is to do what your mind is crying out not to do: be with other people, work with them, make yourself take an active interest in what they are doing and saying. This turns attention away from yourself by directing it outward. Once you are more concerned with others, your melancholy is gone; you are alive again. 

The disunited mind is far from wise; how can it meditate? How be at peace? When you know no peace, how can you know joy? 
Bhagavad Gita 

Eknath Easwaran's Commentary

Today’s mania for speed strikes right at the root of our capacity for an even mind. How often we find ourselves locked into behavior and situations that force us to hurry, hurry, hurry! By now, most of us are aware that compulsive speed – “hurry sickness” – can be a direct threat to our physical health. But hurry has another alarming repercussion: it cripples patience.

When we lack patience, even a few moments’ delay, a trivial disappointment, an unexpected obstacle, makes us explode in anger. We are not hostile people; we are just in such a hurry that keeping the mind calm is impossible. Without peace of mind, how can we enjoy anything, from a movie to good health?

When we go slower, we are more patient, and when we are more patient, we are capable of enjoying life more. All these benefits can come from just learning to slow down.